I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical�
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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