imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
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