There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
try to milk me bitch
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