Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
