It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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