i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
what the fuck happened to the tacos
there is puke in my bra ... again
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
