Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
