i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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