A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
