i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
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