No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
