I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Randomize
