oh god the rape fog is back!
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
