I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
