I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
last night I used snow as a chaser
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
