We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
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