Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
