I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Randomize
