walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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