A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Randomize
