We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
