That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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