Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
