I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
