Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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