smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
