Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
