It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
