woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
jump out the window naked night went bad
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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