Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
This is the high leading the old right now
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
