If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize