The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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