sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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