I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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