Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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