How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
