There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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