im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Bang-toberfest begins!!
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
