She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
