My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
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