My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
