At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Randomize
