I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Even my vagina gasped.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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