Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
