I'm jealous of your bromance
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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