if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
