i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
