We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Randomize
