I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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