You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
